Unfortunately, too many of you already know this from first-hand experience. For those of you who don't, I hope you'll never have to find out find out just how difficult it is.
The need for tough love has loomed a little too large recently in the lives of those I love. There are all sorts of behaviors that require intervention before someone self-destructs. When you know someone you care deeply about is struggling, the normal response is to offer love & support to help them through their crisis. But how do you know when that crosses the line and morphs into enabling? You just plain don't. But there comes a point when you realize that you have to stop giving them anything more than your unconditional love. They'll be hurt and feel betrayed and probably even hate you (at least for a while), but you love them enough that you're willing to let them hate you if that's what it takes to help them help themselves. Because ultimately, they're the only ones who can do that.
All I can really do is to ask God to guide me in knowing what to say & do and when to say & do it. More importantly, with me anyway, is knowing what NOT to say & do and when NOT to say & do it. Although the Serenity Prayer is often associated only with Alcoholics Anonymous, I think it is one of the most powerful prayers ever written and is appropriate in sooooooo many situations, tough love being one of them.
God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.
Amen.
1 comment:
You are a much better person than I...I'm still learning and sticking my nose and two cents in where it doesn't belong...of course before I know it, the damage is done, when all along I had meant nothing but good intentions...Your post made me cry because I certainly can relate, but unfortunately I don't have the faith that I once had...
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